Life events
Planning a church wedding: a plain guide for couples
A church wedding can mean a lot of things: a full ceremony in a historic sanctuary, a small service in a chapel, or a pastor officiating at a venue of your choice. Whatever you have in mind, the first step is the same — find a church whose practices fit yours and ask early.
Every church sets its own policies, so this guide covers the usual range and the questions that will save you time.
Start early
Popular months and Saturdays book up, and many churches ask for several months of notice so there is time for preparation. Six months to a year ahead is common; some churches can do it sooner, especially for small ceremonies or weekday dates.
Your first message doesn’t need every detail. A date range, a rough guest count and whether either of you attends the church is plenty for a church office to tell you whether it might work.
Who churches marry
Some churches host weddings only for members or regular attenders. Others welcome anyone, and some will marry couples where only one person attends. Many ask that at least one of you has been baptized or shares the church’s faith, and some have specific guidance about previous marriages. None of this is a judgement on you — it is simply how that community understands marriage, and it is best to ask about it plainly in your first message.
Marriage preparation
Most churches ask couples to take part in some kind of marriage preparation: a few meetings with a pastor, a class, a weekend course, or a questionnaire you talk through together. Couples often say it was one of the most useful parts of getting married. Time commitment ranges from a couple of conversations to several weeks.
Guidelines you may hear about
- Music: some churches ask that ceremony music be sacred or approved by the music director.
- Photography: rules about flash, where photographers can stand, and filming during prayers.
- Decorations: what can be attached, whether candles are allowed, and rice or confetti policies.
- Officiant: whether an outside officiant can lead, or a church pastor must take part.
- Timing: set start times, rehearsal scheduling, and how long you can use the building.
What it costs
Costs vary widely. Some churches charge nothing for members and ask only for a donation; others have a set building fee, plus separate honorariums for the officiant, musician, sound technician or custodian. Asking for a written list of fees up front is normal and expected.
Questions to ask a church
- Do you host weddings for people who aren’t members? Would a pastor officiate?
- Is the sanctuary or chapel available on our date or season?
- What marriage preparation do you ask couples to complete?
- What are your guidelines for music, photography and decorations?
- What fees or honorariums should we plan for?
- Can we hold the ceremony elsewhere with your pastor officiating?
What to bring
- Two or three possible dates, and a rough guest count.
- Your officiant’s details if you have one in mind.
- Any questions from your planner, photographer or musicians.
- For the ceremony itself, your marriage licence — requirements vary by state, so check with your county office.
Ready for the next step?
Find churches near you
See service times, locations and what each church offers.
Find churches near youMessage a church about a wedding
Every church page has an Ask a Question form. Pick “Weddings” in one tap, add a line or two, and your message goes to that church’s office so they can reply to you by email. It’s free, and nothing is sent until you confirm.
Choose a church to messageCommon questions
Can non-members get married in a church?
Often, yes — but it depends on the church. Some host weddings only for members; many welcome anyone who completes their marriage preparation. Ask in your first message.
How far ahead should we book a church wedding?
Six months to a year is common, especially for Saturdays in popular months. Smaller or weekday ceremonies can sometimes be arranged sooner.
How much does a church wedding cost?
It varies. Some churches ask only for a donation; others have a building fee plus honorariums for the officiant and musicians. Ask for a written list of fees.
Do we have to do marriage preparation?
Most churches ask for some form of it — a few conversations with a pastor or a short course. Many couples find it valuable.
Practices differ between churches and traditions. This guide describes the common range; the church you contact can tell you exactly how they do things.