Life events
Planning a funeral or memorial service with a church
We’re sorry for your loss. If you are reading this, you may be carrying a lot right now, and planning a service can feel like one more thing. The good news is that churches do this often and gently, and you don’t need to have everything decided before you reach out. A short message is enough to start.
This guide explains the usual steps, the kinds of services churches offer, and the questions that help.
First steps
If your loved one belonged to a church, start there — even if they hadn’t attended in years. If not, many churches will still help a family who asks. If you are working with a funeral home, they often contact the church for you and coordinate dates, but you can reach out directly too.
You don’t need to choose readings, music or speakers before your first conversation. A pastor will usually meet with the family, listen to stories about the person, and help shape the service.
If the timing feels rushed, a memorial service can be held later, once family can travel and things feel a little steadier.
Kinds of services
- Funeral: held with the body present, usually within days, often followed by a burial or committal.
- Memorial service: held without the body, sometimes weeks later, which gives families more time.
- Graveside service: a shorter gathering at the cemetery, sometimes on its own, sometimes after a church service.
- Celebration of life: a more informal service centred on stories and memories.
Traditions differ in what a service includes — readings, prayers, hymns, a sermon or homily, communion, and time for family or friends to share. Some traditions have a set order of service; others are flexible. Many churches can include a favourite song or a reading that mattered to the person.
Working with a funeral home
Funeral homes and churches usually work together. The funeral home typically handles transport, the casket or urn, cemetery arrangements and paperwork; the church provides the space, the pastor and the service itself. Ask each one what they cover so nothing falls through the gaps.
What it costs
Church costs vary. Many churches charge members nothing or ask for a donation; others have a modest building fee and suggest honorariums for the pastor, musician or custodian. Some offer a reception or meal after the service, often prepared by volunteers. If cost is a concern, say so — churches are often able to help or simplify.
Questions to ask a church
- Can you help a family who aren’t members of your church?
- Is a pastor available on our preferred date, and can we meet beforehand?
- Can the service include personal music, readings or speakers?
- Do you offer a reception space or meal afterwards?
- What fees or honorariums should we plan for?
- Can you hold a memorial service if the burial has already happened?
What to bring
- Your loved one’s full name, dates, and any church connection.
- A few stories, favourite songs, readings or verses — even rough notes help.
- The funeral home’s contact details if you have one.
- A rough idea of dates and how many people might attend.
Ready for the next step?
Find churches near you
See service times, locations and what each church offers.
Find churches near youMessage a church about a funeral or memorial service
Every church page has an Ask a Question form. Pick “Funerals & memorial services” in one tap, add a line or two, and your message goes to that church’s office so they can reply to you by email. It’s free, and nothing is sent until you confirm.
Choose a church to messageCommon questions
Can we have a church funeral if our loved one wasn’t a member?
Often, yes. Many churches will help any family who asks, especially if the person had a connection to the church or the community. Ask directly — it is a common request.
What is the difference between a funeral and a memorial service?
A funeral is usually held with the body present, soon after death. A memorial service is held without the body and can be scheduled later, which gives families more time.
How much does a church funeral cost?
It varies. Some churches ask only for a donation; others have a building fee plus honorariums for the pastor and musicians. Funeral home costs are separate.
Practices differ between churches and traditions. This guide describes the common range; the church you contact can tell you exactly how they do things.